Before you pick up a power tool or start to sketch out a floor plan, make sure you and your significant other is ready to take on the challenge of DIYing together.
Check out our tips to make sure your next home improvement project together is successful.
It’s a competitive world out there, but at home, it’s about teamwork.
All couples have communication challenges. The uniqueness of your significant other simultaneously makes that person shine in your eyes, and those unique qualities can completely confuse your brain.
So when approaching any project together, it’s important to be present and truly listen to the other person’s goal, plan, and vision. Even if you both easily chose a paint color or new floor together, don’t ever assume your partner’s method or dream is the same neighborhood as yours. Because it probably isn’t.
Listening can make a DIY together project so much easier, and way more fun.
Women and men approach DIY differently. I’m going to generalize here, even though I know there are exceptions to every stereotype about men and women. From my experience, I find the approaches of men and women to be of two different worlds. I want an experience and a makeover. He wants a completed project. There’s a gap there, and that gap can cause huge conflicts when you DIY together.
For example, my husband Mark sometimes likes to get things done before my speech bubbles pop. I like to take time to create possibilities in my brain and then draw ideas on paper, browsing ideas online, and then I’ll adjust and get inspired while I’m working. Yes, I like to work a bit slower than Mark. Our paces can create a conflict because I want to collaborate and make time for adjusting as we go. Mark wants to finish the day before he started, and doesn’t like to change after the plan is set.
How do you resolve the conflict?
Share your goal, your plan and vision. Ask your partner to do the same.
Goal setting.
What is the goal for the project? You both may talk about wanting to create a social area in the backyard by putting in a new patio or deck, but his ultimate goal might be a sweet grill and outdoor kitchen and her goal might be an amazing chill zone with fireplace and comfy furniture.
Both may have already selected the dream items to complete the makeover, assuming that the patio would be used for the dream in their mind. If the budget it tight, it may be tough to achieve both. It’s important to really lay out what the goal is.
Time planning.
Not everyone works at the same pace. And not everyone is willing to adjust to their partner’s pace when they DIY together. Pace is part of time planning, and recognizing that your partner isn’t going to suddenly match your style because you will it to be so. Plan for the time it takes for both of you to finish the project together, and not just how you would do it alone.
If it’s a one-day project, figure out when you’ll get started, and how you’ll take care of those day-to-day things like walking the dog and making lunch that you typically do each day. Don’t assume that the other person is planning to pick up the slack.
If it’s a longer project, figure out what days you’ll each spend on the project. And you’ll want to discuss: Who is captain of picking up supplies? Who will be making sure you have all of the right tools? Who is leading the charge on selecting finishes? Who is in charge of ‘surprises’ on the allotted DIY days, like when your child gets sick? Talking about all of this beforehand will eliminate potential arguments later.
Envisioning the vision.
Use images or create a Pinterest board together with all of the finishes, tools, and styles that you both love. You may even be able to start finding retailers for supplies and start creating a budget while you talk. This saves so much time because you’ll avoid the panicked fights about money and frantic trips to the home improvement center. And you’ll have a record of what you agreed upon to refer to later.
The conversation will take an hour, but make sure to sit down in a quiet spot and look at each other’s faces while you share. It can be fun, too, because you can sip coffee or margaritas while you talk and listen.
More than anything you’ve read above, my best advice to bridge to DIY together with your loved one? Don’t forget to have fun and remember that you love your DIY partner more than any DIY project.
Remember that you love your DIY partner more than any DIY project.
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