How can you successfully DIY together? Take turns being crazy.

How do DIY together with your partner? The most successful DIY together projects happen with a smile. Here’s how to make that happen.

We have a few “DIY together” rules that go beyond the basics of typical home improvement advice.

In the 15 years of home projects for ourselves and clients, we have learned that the partnership between us is more important than any tool or design idea. The fundamental essence of a successful marriage can help make any DIY together project so much better.

What is the most important DIY rule?

Take turns being crazy.

Yes, I’m assuming you get a little crazy every once in a while, and even if you don’t have the humanity of the rest of us, then allow this space for your partner. Remodeling a home can be emotional, stressful, and just all-consuming.

No one can get anything done if both of you are feeling emotional. It’s essential to take turns being whelmed.

There are times when those anxiety feelings pop up when you least expect it. Mostly, you’ll hear a little voice cry out, “Are we ever going to finish this? Will we ever have the time to do anything else? Why doesn’t my spouse understand what I want?”

It happens. We all get a little loony when we’re stressed.

Doubts can plague the best made plans, and the mentally toughest of us. The way out is just breathing through those thoughts and charging through the doubts. DIYing together is a safe space between partners, who share a desire to succeed in the project, and in life together.

When you push those thoughts down too far, they may pop out, inconveniently and unexpectantly, in other parts of your life. You don’t want to jump up in a work meeting, teary-eyed, expressing the odd fear that the paper clips aren’t really secure enough for the report you just distributed, that you should have taken the time to staple them, and that the extra charge for colored paper clips really aren’t worth the added expense. No one at that meeting would think the outburst is actually about paper clips, anyway. It’s best to keep the crazy outbursts at home, where it’s safe.

Honesty is the best way to build a successful DIY relationship.

It’s safe to express the worries at home, because you have the reassurance of a positive-outlook partner will help you flip that switch back to the reasons why you are DIYing together in the first place. You share a dream of an amazing home that expresses who you are and who you want to become together. You’ll share this home you are creating with an ever-growing circle of friends and family. Your home will be a comfort and a sanctuary in your life together.

And, honestly, the crazy episodes in a DIY together project may just mean you care. Caring is what got you with paint brushes and tools in your hands in the first place. Just take turns over-caring. You’ll be happier for it.

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