NutriBullet Review: 8 things you don’t know it does

In this NutriBullet review, I’ll try to answer questions I had when I was thinking about buying mine. To address all the things I was worried about before I took the leap.

Taste. Good. No kidding. You’ll be pi++ed if I have to convince you to eat liquified compost, which is the downfall of so much diet stuff and why people eat Twinkies by the trashcan load. I won’t have to do that.

I’m an avowed wing-slinging-beer-slugging beefeater and 90% of the NutriBullet recipes taste good to me. Or at least don’t taste bad—that’s important. Every single thing that goes into your mouth shouldn’t be a food-gasm. So, if you want to be healthier, you have to grow up a little. It’s sustenance, not sex for your taste buds.

Over the 12-months I’ve had NutriBullet, it has actually changed what I expect food to taste like and it is awesomely liberating in the craving department, meaning I have fewer of them and they are weaker and easier to control. See food-gasm above.

2-in-1. NutriBullet is part product, part lifestyle. I’ll unpack those aspects separately, because this NutriBullet review is designed to be no bullsh++. It is a one-in-a-million blend of form, function, and common sense.

It’s more than just food. It has improved my life about 10% across the board. Think about that for a second. Everything is at least 10% better: I sleep better. I think more clearly. My appetites for crud I love (meat, booze, more booze) are diminished and much easier to resist. It saves me time. I am in better shape than I was 5 years ago.

It makes money. Using NutriBullet is like printing your own money.

My NutriBullet cost about $100. I made that back in five trips to the grocery store to buy apples and F-ing broccoli with all the meat I didn’t buy. In the year since I bought it, I have saved at least a thousand bucks. I’m not kidding. And, I LOVE MEAT. I have a cookout with my pals I call MeatFest 3500. (I still eat it, but about 10% of what I used to consume).

It saves time. The amount of time I no longer spend standing at a frying pan I can measure in hours each month, time I have back in my life to do other things.

It improves or opens up health and fitness goals. I can plow down a giant NutriBullet and workout right away. And I can have one after. This means I’m properly fueled to exercise (and to recover) instead of starved or doubled over in cramps or dehydrated from pounding a ham sandwich. Don’t even get me started on the muscles not pulled and aches not suffering from. I have injuries with birthdays that no longer trouble me. Part of the reason is that the food literally hydrates me in ways salami and chips and cereal cannot. I’m not saying it’ll work for you. I am saying it works for me. I even have one before I run Spartan Race, which this thing has played a big part in getting me across the line.

It’s enlightening (not in the lame, ‘I have lots of candles’ way). Want to lose weight or get more in shape? Go to your cabinets right now and throw out anything with ‘ingredients’. Trust me, I’m no holy roller. Nor am I certified in anything. I just do what works. Want science? Watch Fed Up or any one of the dozen or more movies about food on NetFlix. Think about how many things have ingredients: Almost anything in a box, can or package. You might have more space in your kitchen.

To replace ‘ingredients’ what does NutriBullet do? The blends (or ‘blasts’ as they call them) fill my gut. More to the point: Fill my gut with whole foods that taste OK. And for the work I do, it’s like freaking nitrous oxide for everything from digestion to thinking quickly to tempering anxiety to tempering my temper.

Oh, the ‘extraction’ they rave about on TV? That might not be hype. I don’t know from a science standpoint, but think about it. Blending—I like to say: Pulverizing—food pre-digests it. You’ll be able to tell in the ‘thunder house’. Bottom line: I feel better.

Hell, my hair is thicker.

It’s product genius. What I also found doing this NutriBullet review is that the product is designed to deliver the lifestyle it talks about. That’s an achievement because it goes beyond business and money into doing the right thing.

I reiterate my wing-slinging and beer-loving: ‘Tom Hanks’ me on a desert island full of kale and I die of starvation. But with the NutriBullet, I eat that and more. All the time. What’s happened to me?!

Bottom line: NutriBullet is a blender. But a better blender, because you blend in the cup you drink out of. Utter industrial design genius. Mix, blend, gulp, rinse. Done. Simple to use. Effective on breaking down just about anything I drop in it (I cut up big stuff like apples and pre-chop fibery stuff like chard to make the blends smoother but it’s minimal).

It has changed my every day. The NutriBullet guide book got me started. I now just freestyle it and gulp what I’ve got. It’s preposterously easy. I get a blend of fruit and veggies and seeds I’d never—allow me to repeat NEVER—consume outside it’s pulverization in this true diet tool. I bought extra cups and make four blends at once (I go through 3-4/day). I even travel with it, but that’s for another NutriBullet review. I use it on our makeover marathons so I can keep going without stopping.

My head is leveler. My temper cooler. And life is, well, about 10% easier to handle. And that is an advantage I’m running with. I’m a better dad to my boy. And I hope a better husband to my wife. Yeah, that’s not crap. We do what works and this works. For the people who matter.

Mark

A licensed contractor, tool expert, wood and outdoor enthusiast, and elite Spartan Race competitor, he writes about home improvement and tools for national magazines and websites, and teaches hands-on clinics for other remodeling professionals. Check out his book, The Carpenter's Notebook.

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